You may not have control over many things--at school or at home. But you ALWAYS have control over how you behave. As a result, you must take responsibility for the choices you make. In other words, until you "own up" to what you do, you'll continue to make the same mistakes over again. Your parents, your teachers, and even your friends will respect you more if you admit to your mistakes and make attempts to change your behavior. "It's not my fault" is always a poor reason or excuse. Do you want to understand how you can better control your behavior? Read on...
What motivates us?
We all have 5 genetic needs:
1. Survival
2. Love and Belonging
3. Power
4. Freedom
5. Fun
Everyone has their own opinions on which of those are the most important. Which one have you been putting first? Is it working out in your best interest? If not, you have the power to change your priorities!
What is behavior?
Behavior is made up of 4 components:
1. Acting
2. Thinking
3. Feeling
4. Physiology (Physical reactions)
We have complete and direct control over our actions and our thoughts. Our feelings and physical reactions depend on the choices we make regarding our actions and thoughts. For example, you may tell a lie and feel bad about it. You probably want to do something to make the remorse go away, but it was the conscious CHOICE you made to tell the lie that CAUSED you to feel bad in the first place. So your feelings are a direct result of the choices you make.
What's the good news? (And how anger fits in)
You are free to make different and better choices. You can change your feelings by changing your behavior!
If you struggle with anger, it is important to remember that anger is a feeling and behvaior is a choice. The good news is that it shows you that a problem does exist. You must face it to deal with it. In order to better understand your anger, ask yourself the following questions:
What situations bring out my anger?
Are my expectations unreasonable?
How do I express my anger?
Am I communicating effectively?
Am I focusing on what has been done to me instead of what I can do?
Do my emotions control me, or do I control my emotions?
Dealing with Anger
What makes a good leader?
Not surprisingly, quality leaders are those people that make good choices and positively control their behavior.
Here is what teens said about good leaders:
"A leader brings out the best in other people."
"A leader serves others."
"A leader keeps on trying and doesn't let obstacles get in his way."
"A leader sets and example and inspires others."
"A leader listens to others and includes everyone in decisions."
You may not have control over many things--at school or at home. But you ALWAYS have control over how you behave. As a result, you must take responsibility for the choices you make. In other words, until you "own up" to what you do, you'll continue to make the same mistakes over again. Your parents, your teachers, and even your friends will respect you more if you admit to your mistakes and make attempts to change your behavior. "It's not my fault" is always a poor reason or excuse. Do you want to understand how you can better control your behavior? Read on...
What motivates us?
We all have 5 genetic needs:
1. Survival
2. Love and Belonging
3. Power
4. Freedom
5. Fun
Everyone has their own opinions on which of those are the most important. Which one have you been putting first? Is it working out in your best interest? If not, you have the power to change your priorities!
What is behavior?
Behavior is made up of 4 components:
1. Acting
2. Thinking
3. Feeling
4. Physiology (Physical reactions)
We have complete and direct control over our actions and our thoughts. Our feelings and physical reactions depend on the choices we make regarding our actions and thoughts. For example, you may tell a lie and feel bad about it. You probably want to do something to make the remorse go away, but it was the conscious CHOICE you made to tell the lie that CAUSED you to feel bad in the first place. So your feelings are a direct result of the choices you make.
What's the good news? (And how anger fits in)
You are free to make different and better choices. You can change your feelings by changing your behavior!
If you struggle with anger, it is important to remember that anger is a feeling and behvaior is a choice. The good news is that it shows you that a problem does exist. You must face it to deal with it. In order to better understand your anger, ask yourself the following questions:
What situations bring out my anger?
Are my expectations unreasonable?
How do I express my anger?
Am I communicating effectively?
Am I focusing on what has been done to me instead of what I can do?
Do my emotions control me, or do I control my emotions?
What makes a good leader?
Not surprisingly, quality leaders are those people that make good choices and positively control their behavior.
Here is what teens said about good leaders:
"A leader brings out the best in other people."
"A leader serves others."
"A leader keeps on trying and doesn't let obstacles get in his way."
"A leader sets and example and inspires others."
"A leader listens to others and includes everyone in decisions."
Are you a good leader?
Resources:
National Student Leadership Conference
National Association of Student Councils
Youth Leadership
Congressional Youth Leadership Council